music to my soul

what a day!  there were plenty of good, happy, fun moments. (like, i made my first full cookie order!) But, boy, it just seemed so intense and so tangibly real-life.  if that makes any sense.

today my dear friend christy and i emailed back and forth and talked about a lot of things, including that her four year old wants to come to church so he can learn all about heaven.  because that's where his daddy lives now.  

today i talked with my mom after her appointment with her ob where they discussed ways to manage, fix or change the extreme pain she's having due to hormonal fluctuations and the evil woman-hater-condition called endometriosis.  

today i dealt with whacked-out-hormonally-driven-irrational emotions that hit me like clock work each month.  it's the feeling-bloated-feeling-ugly-feeling-like-nobody-likes-me-everybody-hates-me-guess-i'll-eat-some-worms blahs.. 

today i flipped out at my husband because he came home early from work! And then he decided he was going to go far-far away (1 hour) to purchase a cap for his truck from craigslist in the middle of a snowstorm.

today i called my dad, asking him how the highways were because matt should have been home by then but he wasn't, and i called him over and over again for an hour and never reached him.  matt finally made it home safely, without incident.  but not before my imagination went cah-razy.

today, i yanked a toy out of my two oldests' hands because they were arguing and screaming and fighting over who was going to put it away.  I yanked it away and then spiked it to the ground all football-player-style and then i glared at them both and walked away in a huff.


do you ever have those days that leave you dreaming that you could once again become a child and really, truly appreciate what you had?  the days of endless, carefree hours.  i miss that most on days that are heavy with adulthood.  It wasn't a bad day by any means.  It was just a very realistically adulthood kind of day.

But, then.

As I was making (burning) popcorn, I looked across to the table that faces my stove and I breathed a sigh of relief when I looked down and saw Miss E's song book project.  She started working on her first song today.  

This is a song of childhood. One that I sang plenty of times during those endless days and carefree hours. 

How important that we learn these truths at a young that when we get to these realistic adulthood days we can rest in and lean on and hold onto those truths.

If she never learns anything else in this life...I'm glad she knows Jesus Loves Me.


  1. I'm having a pretty awful, full-of-grown-up-stuff kind of morning. I wept through this entire post. I get it. I do. And I'm clinging to the Truth.

  2. I. Can. Totally. Relate. And on the way home from church today, I got (rightfully) accused by my spouse of not being a wife who respects her husband. I wanted to scream. And then I made plans to SHOW HIM. Then he surprised me with kindness and softened my heart.

    All that to say that you're right. This stuff is hard. Let's keep plowing ahead, girl. We can do all things through Christ. Love you!


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